Hypocrite

I feel like such a hypocrite.  I speak with a positive outlook, but inside my head is yelling at me with negativity.  i tell my friends to stay positive... but am i taking my own advice?? Not really.  *sigh* I hope they will be there to spout it back at me when I fall on my face.  It's bound to happen.  Always does.

I want...

I want to wake up without an alarm clock in my own bed on Lazy Mnt, to find Corbin has snuck in during the night and stole my pillow.  I want to giggle with him in bed while waiting for coffee to brew in the kitchen.  I want to make us a crazy large breakfast of all our favorites and eat in our pajamas while we watch cartoons.  Of course my dad would stop by and have some and visit with us.  :)  I want to get us dressed and out the door to meet my mom at work for her lunch break.  Bringing her, her favorite coffee from the purple moose.  I want to walk and visit with mom and grandma around the neighborhood... Grandma walking way too fast for my pregnant legs.  I want to take Corbin to bouncing bears and watch him having fun.  I want to go shopping at Carrs/Freddies and buy stuff to make tacos for dinner.  I want to have everything cooked and ready for TJ when he gets home for work.  I want to eat, play and laugh all night with just my boys.  I want to cuddle up on the couch with them and watch a movie or a tv show before bed. I want to read my son a story in our rocking chair, then tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight.  Then I want to crawl into bed with TJ and sleep cuddled up to his warmth.  His hand on my tummy feeling how hard little peanut is kicking now.  And then i want to fall asleep, and wake up and do it all over again.  *sigh*  66 more days.

Building my Identity as a Runner

I just finished reading "Run Like a Mother: How to Get Moving- and Not Lose Your Family, Job or Sanity" By Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea.  And let me tell you, it was amazing. I laughed, I cried, I related to the conent, I learned about running and about myself. 

These past few years of running I have been building my identity as a runner.  And I like thinking of it that way.   I'm really not sure what got me out there in the beginning.  What motivated me to start, but I'm sure thankful I did.  I've learned more about myself in the long miles of solitude than i could have ever hoped to learn anywhere else. 

I know being pregnant I cannot expect to go out and PR on any of my runs/races... but just being out there makes me proud of myself.  And I know I will get myself back to where i was- and even better.

My 2013 running goals:
1. Pass 2 mile Army PT test run by January
2. Run 3 to 5 times a week in the winter
3. Join the Valley Women's Running Team (March?)
4. Run 4 to 6 times a week in the summer
5. Colony Days 5K in 30min or less
6. Women's 5 miler in 50min or less
7. Train for a 10K and a Half- Run in August/September...

Don't forget this girl.

Pregnant women are so funny....

I'm 23 weeks and 6 days pregnant with baby #2, and i just ate an acceptable dinner that consisted of 2 strawberry muffins and 2 slices of toast with butter and red raspberry jam, chugged down with decaf iced tea.  (Maybe I should add a vegetable? Oh how I miss home cooked meals)

I sat at my computer all day at work, got off work early... to come "home" and sit in a different chair and stare at a different computer.  I had planned to go walking or something... but.... no.  I don't have a good excuse.  I'm being lazy today.  I did make this blog look pretty... and I found a new favorite website about running mommas. :)

The next race is June 17th.  It's a 10K.  I think I'll still sign up for it.  I don't know how much longer I can run, but I think one more is okay.  I'm reading a book "Run Like a Mother"  and it makes me cry. haha.  I think the sense of pride will always tear me up... baby in my belly or not.

I will try to post more often!  I feel like I've neglected you!  But not on purpose I swear. :)

March Madness

Aloha!
I've been thinking about updating my blog for so long now.  But everytime I sit down to do so... my mind goes blank.  What to write about?  My life is NOT that exciting, that the world of bloggers would want to read about it.  But alas, it has been too long... and it's time to give my readers (do I even have those??) an update.

1. I'm 13 weeks and 3 days pregnant... and finally showing some belly bump.  Annoyingly so.  Just looks like I had a really big lunch and haven't workout in a while.  But we all know the truth!! (I ran 3 miles this morning and had chicken with rice for lunch thankyouverymuch)
2. Names have been determined.  Girl: Autumn Dulany Sullivan, Boy: Trevor Jacobs Sullivan.  Both names are after my late Grandma Pollock.  Dulany was her middle name, and Jacobs was her Maiden name.  My Grandma was such an amazing person in my life... and I miss her kind words, smiles and hugs. 
3. We are coming down to the wire!!!  4 ish months left here... OMG... I'm so excited I may go back to my BOQ room and start packing.  (too early??)
4. WW3 Laurel VS Bugs is still in full swing.  I do believe I have the upper hand and may win the war.  we will see.
5. I love visitors... and it may be the most positive thing about being stationed in Hawaii... everyone wants to visit.  Julie was just here for the weekend, and Mom Tara and Corbin will be here in a matter of weeks!!!  I'm so thrilled. :)

Okay loyal followers... that is all that's happening in lalalaurel land. 
2 questions-

Should I run the Diva Half marathon in a couple of weeks? lol... hmm... and I'm saying yes because the metal is on a lei and the whole run is dedicated to strong women (which I consider myself to be)
AND
Should I find out the sex of baby #2?  Tj and I have thought about not finding out... but I'm getting so excited!!

Valentines Day is here... again

What a horrible holiday. Once a year Hallmark decides to "celebrate love" with cards, chocolate and candy. But mostly it's a popularity contest. If you work in an office... you walk around and see what girls got the "best" flowers... because obviously that means that their husbands love them more. Let's not even mention what it was like in middle/high school. bah. what a load of crap.

Am I being this way because I didn't get flowers this year?? MAYBE. Am I being this way because I'm an ocean away from my loved ones??? most likely.

But really. Flowers on Valentines day is nice... but it's one of those things that is expected. Don't you think flowers and a home made dinner on September 4th after a long day at work would mean more than flowers and chocolates on Valentines? I think this is a cop out holiday.

I did get TJ a present this year. He doesn't have it yet... but It's in the mail. He never reads my blog so I don't mind sharing. It's a photo album of us. Cheesy yes... but I think it's awesome. :) And I wish I could show everyone how good it turned out!! I made it on Snapfish.com... which is generally a really great site! BUT... they had a little shipping problem and TJ's book is JUST NOW (after ordering it in January) on the way to AK. ugh. Snapfish probably hates Valentines day as much as I do.

Pregnancy update:
5 Things I know for certain:
1. when asked "do you want some (insert food item here)" the answer is yes.. yes I do.
2. If you don't know where I am... I am either in the bathroom, or hiding taking a nap.
3. I may look just a little chubby/bloated... but I SWEAR it's because I'm pregnant.
4. I am 8 weeks and 4 days into this 40 week adventure
5. uh.. what was I doing?? (you thought i was a space cadet BEFORE... haha... )

The good, the bad... and the pregnant

Well, I'm sure everyone knows the good news! 2 pink lines means I'll be a momma of 2 by October!  And I am EXCITED!  I found out on the morning of the 16th January.  :)  and if my calculations are correct, baby Sullivan will be born September 22. :)  My first appointment isn't until the beginning of February, so I'll keep you updated!  This is such great news!  this means I will be able to apply for the Masters program and have plenty of time to recover from my pregnancy before it begins! woo hoo!  But speaking of recovering... I will face challenges...

1. Gaining weight.  I know this is inevitable... but geeze, it almost took me 3 years to over come my pregnancy weight with Corbin... and I'm scared that'll happen again!  So... I vow to continue my workouts and eating right... throughout my pregnancy to make sure that this time it's different.
Starting weight: 185.4

2. Which brings me to running.  I love to run.  But I'm SO SLOW lately.  Even so early in my pregnancy... and I don't feel i should be.  But i think my goals just need to change.  How fast I run shouldn't be an issue... it's just getting out there and how i feel during.  i won't be setting any PRs... but I've decided to change it to "PPRs" or Pregnancy Personal Records... :) Feel free to use that. I've already signed up for 2 more races in Feb.

3. Now the issue of how long until I can't fly.  If you've forgotten... I live on an island!  I'm set to "REFRAD" on 31 AUG.  Now that's about at 37 weeks.  I don't think I'll be able to fly at that point.  So i either have to leave early... or stay here to have the baby!  I dunno what will happen.. we will see!